Well guys I fucked up.
Just before, I really badly needed to take a shit but I also wanted to browse the internet on my computer at the same time. So I thought, fuck it, why not just take the laptop into the toilet with me so I can do both at the same time?! What a fucking novel idea I told myself. So there I was preforming blasphemy to my plumming and browsing 4chan, and in my rush to multi-task I had neglected to notice the complete lack of toilet paper in my immediate vicinity.
So now here I am, sitting on the toilet, with absolutely no clue as to what the fuck I’m gonna do now because no one is home to grab me toilet paper, and no I can’t go get it because I had surprisingly spicy butter chicken last night and the aftermath is nothing short of a warzone that’s going to take a lot of cleaning. Soooo what can I do?